Are Muslims Doomed to Arrange Marriages?

I used to think of love as something dramatic like running through a rainstorm or a field to someone with wide-open

arms. Relationships seen through my eyes were like a fairytale. It was just so magical. God, I was a Disney Fanatic. I really thought life would actually turn up that way for me. The love of my life and I would step into this bright magical new world and nothing would ever change that.

Yeah no, that's just bull shrimp.

It started off in middle school when I saw my friend group get into a mess of relationships. At first, I hated to admit I was jealous because they would have someone to hold hands with, to cuddle with, to whisper into someone's ear. I looked to myself as some type of outsider for the longest time. Trying to connect to others wasn't the same when everyone had googly eyes with each other. I don’t even want to start with Valentine's Day in high school.

In all honesty, I was just... alone. And I hated that feeling for the longest time. But then I started to notice patterns with the people that I met. Relationships lead to breakups, pregnancy scares, drama, heartbreak, cheating, the anxiety of missed calls and texts. I realized that love at this age leads to this balled up emotion of regret and loss. It also forgets the main reason why romance and love is so precious: marriage. This is a relationship that occurs when you're at the right age and can give you the same type of butterflies while actually lasting.

Islam made the guidelines for finding love simple and easy. You simply find someone or get introduced, and you take it slow. Meeting someone with a chaperone helps avoid intimacy and focus on personality. It's the amount of maturity and the perfect method of finding a life long partner. Even if it seems so hard to wait for that, it’ll make it even more worth it. But in today's world, it’s so hard to see it that way. In reality, dating and love these days are just playing with someone's emotions like a puppet on strings. Love is supposed to hurt, yet make you better. Love is supposed to change you but change for the better. Love can make you go crazy but not like in the crazy-ex type of way. Toxicity is something we need to avoid and the only remedy is to wait. Not only to mature but focus on yourself. Are any of us ready to open up your heart when we don’t have the heart to focus on ourselves?

Love is a beautiful chaotic mess. But it can only work when you're truly ready for it. If not, you're left with the broken pieces of the fantasy that you once had.